What's Next?

This blog seemed to be the last thing on my mind since I have returned home (so I apologise for the 2 month gap).
I have now been back for nearly 9weeks and during this time I have had 7 weeks of uni. Although stressed and freaking out about the multiple assignments and tests due after this weekend, I find myself procrastinating and blogging instead of doing some much needed study.

Life has changed so much since my return. Coming home to a world which seems so familiar, but yet so different. I have had, what could be considered, far too many break downs for a 20 year old to have and entered into a new level of stress that I didn't know was possible. I find it very difficult to assimilate back into everyday life and find myself wondering how things changed so much in such a short time. But as a wise man (my dad) said to me not too long ago, 'it is not us that has changed, but you'.
It got me thinking, since I have been back, my life seems lost in purpose and meaning. I look forward to a change in activity, thrive on new experiences; where I once fear and stressed about change. The small, good, exciting things don't seem to outweigh the normal, ordinary, everyday things any more. And I suppose going back to a 25hr week at uni instead of a 12hr week is also a bit of  downer.

And so, I have decided that it's about time to re-evaluate my life, and what I want and expect from it. With the help of my family I have re-gained the love of myself and the want to continually improve my flaws. (It's strange how a 7month experience changes your whole perception of your original situations.)

-My love of baking has not left me, but my want of eating the sweets I make has. Since being home I have re-joined my gym and finished a 6 week challenge, all of which was to get rid of the weight I had gained overseas from eating far too much haggis and chips :P

-The respect and love of my family has increased. Living away from the people you love and once looked after you truly increases your respect for all they do for you.

-I cannot wait for my uni degree to be OVER. with the realisation that I have 3 more year left of civil engineering, I feel a great weight placed on my shoulders. Having the inability to let stress go, I find a future of study very daunting, as so welcome over loading subjects to finish this degree as fast as humanly possible.

-I have decided that I need to put one day a week aside to do what I want. No study, no homework, no uni. Recently this has been going into my mum's art class and working with her primary school kids for the day. There is something so wonderful about educating children who truly appreciate the help you give them.

There is so much more that I am implementing in my life to find the enjoyment which I had overseas. I know dwelling on the past months doesn't help, but it is always so wonderful reminiscing on the good times.
Although difficult now, knowing that these experiences have changed me for the better is motivation enough to push through the reverse home sickness that I'm feeling.

What's Next is truly the question that I keep asking myself. But I suppose the correct answer to that question is life.